Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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