Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
