i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
