may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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