i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
