dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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