your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
