This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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