I wannas sexs uuuuu
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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