You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my sisters under your porch take her home
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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