Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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