My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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