i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize