You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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