I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
