Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
