I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
