I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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