Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
