I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize