Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
