worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
