You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
operation harelip BJ is a go
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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