she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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