If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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