do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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