OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
