I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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