So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
