That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
