Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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