i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize