Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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