Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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