woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
