then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
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I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
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If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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