a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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