not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
