Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
