I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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