I think I am morally bankrupt
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Also, beer. Big fan.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
