Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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