I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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