i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize