I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize