I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The chlamydia really affected his face.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
