the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
