her vagine was all disorganized.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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