For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
