Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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