btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
