Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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