It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
