Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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