just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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