Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
